Digital Funtown

Readers: You may have heard about humankind's attempt to punish CheneyBot, Vice-President of The United States. Let it be known that such attempts are futile as the creature is immune to indictments.

Furthermore, there is no manner in which to "punish" CheneyBot. 10,000 years ago CheneyBot was given access to this plane of existence by Lucifer himself. There is but one method to be rid of him. You have to leave a trail of dead mackerel from his secret penguin lair under the White House. That trail should smell of relatively fresh human children. I would recommend leaving a bucket of mackerel in an orphanage for a day or two before you attempt. CheneyBot will become excited and waddle with fervor toward the baby smell.

Lead him to a bunker buried deep within the CIA headquarters at Langley. There is door with Wyoming 666 stenciled in goat's blood. That door opens and leads CheneyBot out onto a narrow walkway where a boom box sits playing a recording of crying Arab children. Before CheneyBot can recognize the setup the door slams shut behind him. A giant Halliburton crane plucks him from the plank and raises him high over a steaming vat of Saudi crude. An angel dressed as Uncle Sam will then engage the hydraulic lever and drop CheneyBot to his death.